Capture Your Grief: Day 23 - Tattoo

Today, Avery would be 15 months old. It has really hit me recently that we aren't just missing out on him being a baby anymore. We missed his first words, we missed him trying his first foods, we missed him taking his first steps, by now we would probably be chasing him all over the place. We're no longer just grieving the loss of our baby but the loss of out toddler, the loss of our little growing man! I miss you ever minute, sweet little Avery! 

Capture Your Grief: Day 15 - Wave of Light

Today is October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 

I light a candle to help create a continuous wave of light around the world. 

Love to Avery Malcolm Whitlow!!!

Capture Your Grief: Day 8 - Colors

Orange and Turquoise were the colors we decorated Avery's room with. 

I will always think of him any time I see Chevron or Giraffes.

Capture Your Grief: Day 6 - Ritual

Capture Your Grief: Day 5 - Memory

Capture Your Grief: Day 4 - Legacy

Recluse

In someways I wish I could just lock myself away. I wish I could curl up and hide forever. In some ways I would be fine with never talking to anyone again.

But there is a story to be told. Its confusing and frustrating, not being able to share it safely now. But it will have a place in time. And it will be up to us to share it.

I dont know how we will do it. I'm a pretty private person. But we will. We will shout your name, and we will tell your story. We will do it with the strength only you can give us.

Through great love we find great strength.

Capture Your Grief: Day 3 - Myths

Capture Your Grief 2013: Day 2 - Identity

Capture Your Grief 2013: Day 1 - Sunrise

There wasn't much of a sunrise this morning. Just fog. Since Avery died there have been many days when the fog envelops me. It is so easy to get stuck there. But I know thats not what my son would want. Instead I allow myself to see Avery in everything and then the beauty unfolds. I know in my heart that the sun will come out again.