Everything

You are in everything. You are everywhere. You are in me. I love you, Avery.   I am so proud to be your mother. I will do everything I can to honor your memory.

Tonight is Justin's holiday work party.
Last year I went. I was pregnant, but not really showing much. I wore a new green silk dress and heels. I was so excited to share our happy news with so many old friends. It was so great to see all the kids running and playing, expecting that next year I would be chasing my little one.
So unfair. I sit here alone.

I believe you visited me in my dreams last night. I could feel you, and as I turned to try and focus in on your face it was blurred with those around you. I could see reddish blonde hair and cheeks. I love you sweet boy. I believe your brother also visited me last night. I saw a brandnewborn and quickly checked, its a boy!